I Am Not Old, I Am Just More Experienced.
Raise your hand if you -feel- like you are getting older.
Before you get all depressed and refute this post on the grounds of ‘I don’t need anybody else to tell me my joints are squeaky’, let me just say this is about the stuff you learn or improve or get better at with age.
So, without further ado, I will get to the point. You know, nobody is getting any younger here.
1. Bullshit — Talking to a bunch of friends on a Whatsapp group (with a very suggestive name, I might add) made me realise that getting older makes us all less sociable, with a lower tolerance for bullshit. I know, I know, you might think this is not really new in my case, but it’s gotten stronger. The advantage of this is I have more time for myself, for the stuff I am really interested in (even if that thing is to look at pictures of Gabriel Macht as Harvey Specter in Suits).
Reducing networking might result in some FOMO at first, but then I look at the things I think I am missing out and realise it’s not really such a big deal. Plus Harvey is so nice on the eyes that it’s basically the equivalent of taking Xanax.
2. Shame — Speaking of the things I like, I am not ashamed of them anymore. Well, some shames are there to stay, but not all. For example, I have a thing for certain songs from Justin Timberlake. That’s my guilty pleasure. When it comes to them everybody has one, but it’ like a secret society, nobody speaks about it.
This makes me think about that episode in Friends when, in order to get to know each other better, people at Ross’ museum started to say things about themselves; at this point, a busty black lady gets up and says ‘Hi, my name is Rhonda and these aren’t real’. Why do we have to hide the things we do or like?
3. Sex — I said this before and I am pretty sure lot of women would agree. It’s the same as point 1 only with sex. I know what I like, I know what I don’t, and I am not wasting time in the grey zone anymore. Trying out things is pretty much done, I can revisit if I feel like it, but I don’t feel the need or pressure to impress anymore or to look cool. Plus, once I realised that what I see in magazines and on the internet is photoshopped most of the time, I kind of relaxed about my own body. It’s imperfect, I have no other one to choose from, so I might as well treat this one well.
4. Finding my way — I don’t know how others are, but for me, it was a shock when I discovered my mom doesn’t know it all and she too is imperfect. I was in shock because I had lost my compass and, therefore, my sense of direction. It’s cruel and hard and if there is one thing I learned parents should do is to give their kids the tools to find that by themselves once the myth is busted.
It took me about 5 years to find my way, to trust myself with my decisions, to stop looking at others for answers. The process is not over yet, for I am still looking at my parents’ approval or other parental figures for that matter.
5. Some fights are worth fighting and some are not. This one is about friendship, about work, about anything that in not-such-a-distant past I was stubbornly investing a lot of energy in, many of the times with a less-than-ordinary outcome.
Now, I finally understood that some things are not meant to be changed/achieved. This might sound like a very fatalist attitude, but I decided to prioritise my sanity rather than my ambition. Some people have come to that point earlier in their lives. Wise. Better late than never, though, right?
In spite of all that, I am happy to say I still own two teddy bears I took to the beach the other day and I still enjoy a good game of hide-and-seek.