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The Orange TrumpET

Today the Orange Trumpet was elected as the 45th, I think, president of that country, which still thinks they are the coolest free-est in the world. You know it’s not true, I know it’s not true, let’s not go there. I can’t help but remember Jeff Daniels in Newsroom. He answered so memorably to the question “Why is America [not] the greatest country in the world?”. You can find the video here.

After waking up with the weirdest hair, I rapidly checked the news while it was still a tiny chance that misogynist ignorant scum will stay in his hole. Few hours passed and … well … he didn’t.

Then I got to think about it.

From the beginning I should say I kind of hate politics. In everyday life I believe I am more liberal. In politics fuck it. It’s all a muppet show anyway, right? So, I did not prefer Clinton over Trump. Not because she’s a democrat, not because she’s a woman, not because of anything. I heard she is not clean. I didn’t expect her to. No politician truly is. But my good old mathematical common sense, like my high school math teacher use to say, kinda rejected Trump. And the reasons did not hesitate to appear: insulting speeches on pretty much any topic you can think of. Now the deed is done and they have an orange president. And I, like the rest of the decent world, was outraged. §$%&

And then I thought: why is this guy worse than Clinton? Like … really? I am now referring to an international perspective, because I don’t really care what they do inside their country. They can kill each other, as far as I am concerned. They are contained anyway on their continent… well, more or less. So internationally speaking, how will this affect me, as European citizen, as a Romanian citizen? And from my small slightly ignorant perspective on things, this is what I figured.

For some reason I understood that Putin (yeah Putin of Russia, remember him?) was kinda supporting the Orange. Romania is not just NATO, but in-your-face-Russia NATO. From this I can only conclude that Romania’s fate might be a bit more legere under the orange reign, if you know what I mean. Because what is Romania, if not dispensable, to a crazy democrat who wants to fight “terrorism” in the name of that vague freedom, they’ve been preaching since the beginning of time. And you know “terrorism” is as vague as “freedom”, right? Now it’s Islam, but tomorrow it can also be Russia. Between you and me, we also had terrorists shooting in Bucharest in ‘89. 27 years later it’s clear it was all a charade.

From this sympathy for the devil, I think we can derive a certain path in handling terrorism and Syria and whatever those dudes are doing over there with their Arab Spring. Because what else is that conflict over there if not a war theatre for the States versus Russia. They all support one side or the other, in exact opposition. So I say guys, shake hands, do whatever it is that you are doing to look good in a picture (Donnie, maybe you fire your stylist, because I am sure as hell you can find someone better with the taxes you haven’t paid yet) and leave those poor bastards to solve their apparent conflict among themselves. And if they don’t, who cares? Look at North Korea. Those guys are f-i-i-i-ne with their crushing dictatorship. At least that is what you believe, since nobody really bothered to stop by and ask them about the human rights thingy. Not anybody that counts, anyway. You know, with a tank or a missile or something. Human rights activists are like blind deaf old dogs with no teeth.

Last, but not least, I hear ol’ Donnie is a fan of China. That is also good, as far as my humble mind works. Why, you would ask, skeptically, thinking about all the replicas of … pretty much everything ever sold. Well, aren’t you getting bored of the same old USA versus Russia thing? Don’t you think that bringing in a new player, currently world’s greatest economy, would spice things up a bit a little? Figuratively but, hell, also literally. So why not let all of them pull each other’s eyes out, while we enjoy some popcorn and emigrate to New Zealand, while being secretly taken over by the Japs. I mean, remember the Geisha? Those were cool, right?

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