Yes, Women Need A Man, But Why?
This title is so full of clichés, that I am wondering how many will start reading without being pissed. Yes, I do mean to speak of women, generally, because it is impossible to take everyone in particular and also because I want to talk about trends. Stuff that I observed on myself, the woman that I am. No, I don’t hate lesbians. I said women need a – man – and not a woman because the majority are straight and not gay. I am not looking to be politically correct here, sorry lesbians, I am trying to make a point.
Story of my life
Without bragging, I think I am a strong independent woman and in charge of my life. If you ask most of my friends, they would say the same, some would probably see me even stronger than I actually am. That is because I tend to project a bitch-hell of an image. That has something to do with my childhood and my role models, but we will not get into that kind of detail.
Ever since I could write and feel melancholic, I dreamt of -that- guy, the knight in shining armor. My first serious boyfriend had all the qualities except for one: he was not … knighty enough. As a teenager, I tended to hyperbolise my spleen, my fake-pain, my sorrow, and the knight in shining armor became some sort of a savior. Do you know that story, ladies? So I continued looking.
In my early 20s, because of how strong and independent I learned I am, I kept wanting more from my partners: more excitement, more craziness, more vigor. That is how I passed on some nice possibilities. I felt too big for them.
This is where I have to stop and make a comparison.
I realised that the older a person gets, the more their taste changes. For example, ever heard of people starting to like stinky cheese later on in their life? Let me put it this way: how many teenagers do you know to be fans of stinky cheese … ok, that they are not French… so how many? It is the same with whiskey for example. When people are young, they mix it with coke and think they’ve made a smackin’ cocktail. Later on they start to really appreciate the taste of a decent Laphroaig.
Well, I think it’s the same with men. The older I got, the bigger the challenge I needed.
This is how I motivate my last excruciating choices before Alin. I took on bigger challenges of unadapted psychologically disfigured people thinking I can help, I can make the difference. My bad with their bad should have equaled a good in my head. Well, that is just math. And in this case it is purely stupid.
The world is much simpler than that.
You will never hear the end of this: I was insanely lucky to find Alin. I don’t want to be one of those who say: “Just believe it and you will get it! There is somebody for anybody in this world. Prince charming will come, look at me!”. That is nonsense.
But there is some other lesson to take away from this: from this man I have learned that even though I don’t really actually need a man per se, it’s nice to have one. And not because I am incapable of changing a lightbulb (actually cooking would be more appropriate here), but because it’s nice to have somebody to share stuff with. It might sound trivial and simple, but you will never really understand what I am saying unless you felt this. And trust me, you will know when that time comes.
For those who will object this idea I will answer that yes, I had those exhilarating moments myself, listening to a song, walking on the street and experiencing people, drinking a coffee by myself somewhere lost in the city reading a wild book. I love solitude. I dance by myself, I talk to myself in my own puppet show, my life would never be boring had I only have my own self in it. But it’s much more purposeful when I share things, other things, with Alin.
It’s not replacing me-sides with him, it’s creating a whole new room in me for him and our experiences.
So I think, women do need a man. Not because they miss some part of themselves and feel the need to complete it with another person, but simply because they want to enrich themselves and create things anew.