Family Stories – The Optimisation Disaster
Sometimes our family daily conversations sound like lines out of an Woody Alan movie. I am pretty sure they make a nice thing to remember, so I started to keep track of them.
A little background
Alin is a UX designer (UX stands for user experience) – the kind of person who optimises user journeys on websites, so that people surfing them have a much nicer, smoother experience. When you land on a website, the way to can find the information you need is the responsibility of a guy like Alin.
Imagine this. Late evening, maybe 11:30 or so. We were just preparing to go to bed. Alin was dead tired. My mind wonders as usual. So I ask him, without any connection to anything:
Oana: “How many metres of intestines do we have? I think it was 7 or so… Yeah 7. And cows have like… 30 or 40.”
He is not really impressed by my knowledge or my curiosity. Maybe he just got used to it. So I insist.
Oana: “Can you check it out before you go to bed? I want to remember this.”
So he opens Safari and checks.
Alin: “It’s just 1.5 metres.”
Oana: “Yeah, the large intestine. How long is the small intestine?”
Alin: “5 metres.”
Oana: “Aaaa, so I was almost right.”
Alin was staring at an anatomical pictures of the abdominal cavity. He was amazed by the fact that the large intestine, you know, the one where poo is formed, goes up, all the way under the ribs.
Oana: “Wow, it’s amazing how optimised everything is! How you can fit 6.5 metres of stuff in there.”
Alin: “Optimised like crap. What is this with the large intestine going up? It’s full of shit.”
He was kind of serious about it. I think he was genuinely bothered with the positions of the intestines in a human body. By any user experience logic, poo cannot go up!