I Am An Inconvenient Person.

Here is the thing. I am an inconvenient person.

I am not your sunshine on a rainy day, I am the rain that gets into your bones. You can only tame me with a hot bath.

I am not delicate and diplomatic. I am rough and I always speak my mind. Sometimes it gets me into trouble. I can’t pretend I like you if I don’t, because it’s exhausting. That’s why I don’t have many friends, but the ones I have are here to stay.

I am not a full-time woman. Sometimes I am a woman, sometimes I am a man, sometimes a girl or a boy. That’s why I get along with your kids.

I am fierce like a dragon, curious like a cat and there are times when I swear like a damned sailor. Men either love me or hate me.

I’ve never been mama’s girl. Sometimes I thought I was daddy’s girl. Wrong again. And I am my brother’s sister as much as everyone else’s. My family are my friends and my friends are my family.

Am I am not silent. My opinions strike like arrows. And I have come to discover people rely on them.

I’ve spent my life trying to hide, trying to please. Such a waste. I was never good enough for everybody. No matter how well I did, there was always someone unhappy: my parents, a friend, my partner.

I was depressed, scared, furious with myself for not being wiser, more glam, more calm, more feminine.

After all the wishful thinking, the silent embarrassment, the failure and the disappointment, I walk proud. I walk tall because I finally know who I am. I am a myriad of things, each with their own little role in a huge puzzle. But there is just one I made the conscious decision of never being. Ever. Again. And that is apologetic for who I am.