What The Grinch Really Wants For Christmas
According to Alin’s latest assessments, I am the Grinch. Want to know why? Well, do you know that nice fuzzy feeling that hot cocoa and snow and decorations and cinnamon give you around this time of the year? I can honestly say I lost it.
It happened a few years back. Depression and Christmas chaos didn’t make for a winning combination. All I wanted back then was peace and quiet. I didn’t get exactly what I wanted, just the coziness of friends and family. I felt a little bit better. But something changed.
The magic left the house.
I don’t know if it’s just a coincidence or maybe I have finally grown out of it. Before that I was all about jollywood, buying little presents, wishing people things, words came easily even without some holiday alcoholic miracle.
But now, all I want for Christmas is …
• Some f*****g authenticity. Real happiness, not just glittery pretend one. But getting that is hard, isn’t it? You must really f*****g work for it.
• Less plastic. I gotta tell ya, living in England is madness. I know that plastic has taken over the world, but here it seems to be even worse: just try to buy some regular vegetables in a regular supermarket, you can’t get it without being wrapped in f*****g plastic.
• For people to stop f*****g BUYING stuff they don’t need for people they don’t even like.
• Less and better f*****g food. Again this might have to do more with living in the UK than with Christmas in general. Oh, shoot me!
• Speaking of food, I miss the times when the food magically appeared in the kitchen. Thanks, mom, I don’t think I actually ever said that.
• A f*****g heartfelt Christmas f*****g carol. Aren’t you tired of Wham? Or Frank Sinatra? In Romania I used to go caroling when I was a kid. And there were many other kids like me. Sure, we were happy when we got some compensation for our efforts, but we did it for the fun of it. Nowadays you got kids coming to your house and shouting something, not even knowing the lyrics and then complaining you gave them too little money.
• A f*****g miracle that will sew shut with a rusty needle the mouths of 90% or Romanian politicians and them send them to Romanian hospitals to be cared for.
Look at that, I have gotten all political. I can’t! I simply can’t focus on f*****g Christmas when I see the dirt Romania is being deliberately sunk in by its own people.
There you go. That is what the Grinch really wants for Christmas. I would probably be happy just with one of the things on the list coming true.