Who Is Responsible For Our Unhappiness?
I’ll just come and say it: Most of the time we are the only ones at fault for our unhappiness. I know, it’s not the kind of thing anybody wants to hear. But it is true. And not because some twisted fucked up reason. No. The only reason why we are the only ones responsible for our own misery is not that we are bad people, but because, mark my words, we are measuring the world with our own measuring stick.
We are honest, respectful, helpful, etc, we expect to get the same in return.
And when we don’t, we are shocked, disappointed, sad, depressed, hell it might even go to suicide.
And yes, there are also assholes out there, who are not honest and respectful, generally nice people. And they are also miserable and unhappy, but they deserve it, ok? And I can’t help them with my infinite wisdom. If you are an unhappy asshole, I don’t know, go to Mother Teresa or something.
I have learned (a bit) from my own experience with people who didn’t live up to my expectations and then I got all sad, started feeling sorry for myself. Then I saw that there are many … projectionists out there. Loads of people, including or especially my better half, who do that. And they got and will be still royally fucked by the world. They are the naive bunch, the pure souls, the unspoiled who live by the principle “do good and good will come back”.
I know it’s a nice fantasy, but it’s just a fantasy. It doesn’t work. And while I know the opposite is just as bad (see the worst in people or prepare for it, in any case), I think, if we want to be happy, we have to have no expectations whatsoever. None. From no one, if it’s possible.
It probably is impossible for anybody to do so unless they are like … very very wise. But there is a simple way to achieve it.
Allow yourself to get royally screwed a few times. Pick yourself up and next time you will know better and not expect things.
No, it is not sad. It’s a twisted, yet simple, way avoid unhappiness. It only takes a little bit of responsibility and two grams of courage you’ll find in any supermarket.